Secretly I wish my kids could wear small (somewhat stylish) collars that shock them ever so lightly (enough to make them stop but not enough to really hurt them) every time they whine. Is that bad?

Secretly I hope that one day John drops one of his gargantuan wooden shoe trees onto his big toe and that it hurts so much that he decides to throw them all out. Therefore I will never again hear one of them hit the wood floor in the bedroom closet when I am groggily lying in bed in the morning not wanting to wake up. Is that bad?

Secretly I really don’t like working out. I do it because I want to be thin and still be able to eat whatever I want. I really and truly would always opt to watch a movie instead of going to the gym. I would. Is that bad?

Secretly I am highly annoyed by people who don’t use their turn signals. I just don’t get it. Is that bad?

Secretly I am a complete table snob at restaurants. I inherited it from a family member but I’m not naming any names. Sitting next to a bathroom orĀ kitchen door REALLY irks me. Is that bad?

Secretly I am happier than I have ever been in my life and I still have this much to complain about. Is that bad?

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