When It’s Time You Know

Twice recently I have been asked if I plan to write or blog in the future. I was beyond flattered to know that the blog was missed. I never intentionally planned to stop writing. In truth, Covid quieted many things within me, including my writer’s voice. And I am grateful to say it brought to light some new internal voices as well. I had never been an “artist”, or rather allowed myself to live into the inkling within that I wanted to create something with my hands. As my “writing time” slowed down, I allowed myself to dip into a new medium. I became a potter and can confidently say it is something I plan to do well into my later years. I have a studio in my basement and find the work to be grounding and nourishing in ways I never expected. That being said, these days I am once again feeling that old curiosity about the power of words and sharing ones voice. And I needed a nudge. That gentle push came in many forms, so much so that I decided I needed to take it seriously and give this writing a go for the second time around.

When my first friend asked when the blog would be back, I explained that in recent years the world had felt upside down and I was too distracted and emotional to write. She reminded me that the world being upside down was just the time that I actually I needed to be writing. Her words reminded me of something I had always known. In the midst of tumult, it is the wise ones who must step forward and try to heal this broken world, and we can do that with action, example or words. We are the ones who are called to shine the light into the darkness and reveal what really matters. So I started a draft.

In that draft I asked – How are you all feeling? Have you been caring for your souls as the world seems to be on fire? Are you staying afloat? Where are you putting your time and talent? We have seen wars abroad. Whole cities go up in flames. Divisiveness across political lines. And so much physical illness. I know these things have weighed heavily on my heart, and yet… I still feel optimistic that we can recover and come out stronger. Maybe that is why I’m finally ready to be back in touch with a broader audience. Let me explain with an example.

I recently went on a surf trip to Costa Rica where I spent time with deep soulful women. They were open and honest and allowed me to share with them this yearning to use my voice again. While I surfed the subtle waves of the “white caps” I got to thinking about how much we all carry throughout our day. The ocean was too tumultuous to try the green waves this year. And that in and of itself was just the message I needed from the universe to go with the flow and not push myself too hard. So I started to think about what we as humans do when the load or burden gets too heavy. I think often we just bear down and keep carrying – hoping that our legs are strong enough to get us to the end point we desire. But what if the load literally breaks us down. We end up injured, exhausted, and resentful that we have been incapable of doing the hard thing. Maybe we are mad that no one stepped in and offered to carry it for us? Or we double down our exercise so that we are stronger for the next “heavy lift”.

Here is the thing we often overlook. None of us are meant to carry the burden alone. We must ask for help. And when we ask for help we are in fact giving someone else the opportunity to feel the pleasure of using their strength and resources to pull someone else forward. It’s the greatest win/win there is. So I ask in this first blog post in 5 years – who are you allowing to help you carry your load? Are you surrounded by people who do it with grace, or those who expect that help to be “repaid”? Are you too prideful to ask for the help? This is the rumination that we must begin with before we can live into a life of peace.

Upon arriving at the beach in Nosara for my first surf lesson I eyed a local man selling bowls in the shaded area of the sand. I wanted one. For sure. Especially the super sized extra large that had a rim that reminded me of a breaking wave. For a moment I wondered how I would get it home, but dismissed the concern and headed out to surf. And the on day 3 I decided I would just make it work. I bought the bowl. And on the day we departed I awkwardly carried my big bowl down to the exit with my other bags and suitcase. One woman said, “I was wondering how you would ever get that home??? It’s just too big!” And that is when it clicked. Even while buying this massive thing, I had faith that someone would help me to carry my load. And I knew that I had become the kind of woman who wasn’t afraid to ask for help. And better yet I had gathered the type of friends who would happily help me to carry this load or any other burden weighing on my heart. I was going to be just fine with my “big bowl”. So many people offered to help, and I felt surrounded by love and support. And did we laugh about this big bowl and it’s journey home? Yes we did. And every time I look at it on my countertop I am reminded that we can do hard things, especially if we ask for and receive help from our chosen tribe. I am convinced good humans can do anything if we combine resources and band together.

And what is next for the blog? What can you expect to hear from this little corner of the world? I want to write about friendship, sex, connection, inner-voice, travel, parenthood and love. And I’ll be tossing in some book reviews and product reviews too. For now I have no interest in making this a monetary venture. I won’t be doing product placement or paid-for content. Because I want to be authentic and honest in all I do these days. If I tell you I like it, then you know it’s legit. I have zero judgement of influencers or bloggers who make a business of this craft. There is room for all of us. I learned long ago that the fear of scarcity leads to the death of collaboration. So if you want to share insights or brands on the blog just let me know. I am always open to partnership with good humans. Welcome back my friends. If in any way I can help to lighten your load, or carry your burdens with you – I am here for it. Be in touch. And thank you from the bottom of my heart for joining me on this journey the second time around.