Good Night

Let me begin by saying I am NOT a doctor. I may think I’m a doctor, and talk like I am a doctor, but I am NOT a doctor. That means when I talk about ailments and their cures it is just my personal opinion of what works in the healing department. That being said I am a self diagnosed insomniac. (I adore self diagnosis!) Sleeplessness is an issue for me. A big issue. One that I talk about often. Right sweetie? My poor husband has learned to disrobe in the hall having left his shoes outside the house beforehand. He tiptoes up the creaky stairs and sneaks into bed – not daring to use the upstairs bathroom – lest I hear him and wake up with the fury of 10 elephants to scream at him for having woken me. It’s not my fault that I am a VERY light sleeper and am VERY angry when I get woken. If you couldn’t fall back asleep after being woken post 10pm you might act like a lunatic too!

Little bedtime “issues” become catastrophes when you are a restless sleeper. A few weeks ago I bought new bedding. The sheets were supposedly a very high thread-count and had a somewhat “sateen” finish to them that made them very luxurious. Going forward “sateen” should be read as “slippery” and this is where things took a turn for the worse. As I made the bed with the new sheets for the first time I started to worry. There was something just a little to “smooth” about the sheets. My hubby and I climbed in later that night and even John sensed something was off. “Do these feel a little different than our old sheets?” he said as his torso inched over to my side of the bed involuntarily. “Hmmmm.” I said. “They are a little slippery aren’t they.” We fell asleep. Thank you sleep aid. Needless to say I woke up many times that night. The best way I can describe what unfolded that night is by telling you that I felt like I was sleeping with a baby seal that had been rubbed down with baby oil. John tossed, John turned, and the covers completely slipped off the bed! It was unreal. We both woke up groggy and confused. Me because I had barely slept and John because he couldn’t figure out how he had slid off the bed and onto the floor. Next time I am buying cheap cotton sheets at Target…

So what to do when you can’t sleep? Here’s what has helped me. Qi Gong meditation – more on that later when I post about traditional chinese medicine and its many wonders. I tried Ambien and I must say it induces some very strange stuff. Sleep walking, sleep talking, and morning nausea. I don’t really enjoy any of those side effects so I only take Ambien when I am desperate. The other “pill” I actually really do like is an herbal remedy called Knock-Out.

Wonder Drug

It has B6, Magnesium, Calcium, Melatonin, and a little bit of Valerian Root. Fun fact from Wikipedia: Valerian has been used as a medicinal herb since at least the time of ancient Greece and Rome. Hippocrates described its properties, and Galen later prescribed it as a remedy for insomnia. Knock-Out is sold at Greenwich Healthmart at the top of Greenwich Avenue on the right hand side. Tell Herb I sent you. He has been working there for years and I must admit that sometimes I make up reasons to go to the health food store just so I can see Herb. “No I really do need a third box of Emergen-C in the closet… Just in case.” A hug alone from Herb can almost cure insomnia. Seriously. I have never met someone more optomistic in my life. He works at a health food store and is completely zen. Coindicence? I think not.

And now for your enjoying pleasure I present you with “Sleeping Baby on the Move” as I like to call it. These pictures cracked me up. Can you imagine sleeping so soundly? Me neither. The little Buddha? More than I can handle.

Images: Adele Enerson

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